Dude. Could it be hotter here? I think there’s supposed to be some cosmic law that it can’t be over 80 degrees in November. I know we don’t technically have seasons here, but come on. If we’re getting screwed into it being “nighttime” when it gets dark at 4:30 in the afternoon, it should at least be cool enough outside to have to wear long sleeves. I went to the store at 8 pm in a tank top last night. A tank top. In November. And the only reason I wasn’t wearing shorts along with that tank top is because the ones I was wearing before I left my house make my butt look really big. So I changed into pants. Because I’m pretty sure that even the really friendly clientele who frequent the crafts store don’t want to see me looking like I’m wearing a diaper. Actually, now that I’m thinking about it, I should probably just throw those shorts away.

Anyway, my point is, it’s supposed to feel like fall. Or fall for Southern California, anyway. Which is at least a cool 60 degrees. We’re going on vacation to the Dominican Republic in a couple of weeks, and if it doesn’t cool down here before then, we’ll be leaving one 80-degree location for another (far prettier) 80-degree location. When in my imagination I totally planned on exiting the plane in my parka and cold weather clothes and being so overcome by the heat that I strip down to my bikini on the tarmac a la Baywatch Airport Edition.

What, you never saw that spinoff?