I’ve been trying to write a New Year’s post for a couple of days now, but between binge drinking and family gatherings I’ve been a little pressed for time. Also, this is the first year I’m less excited about the New Year and much more apprehensive. 2009 was alright, whereas I’m getting the feeling 2010 is going to feel a little like getting beaten up on a consistent basis. But whether we’re ready for what this year holds or not, it’s coming. Or is actually already here, since I am so awesome at time management.

Anyway, I felt like I should do something to honor the mediocrity that was 2009. I was trying to do this little quiz thing that I saw on one of my favorite blogs, but I was stuck on some of the answers and everything came out sounding kind of lame and convoluted. Plus, I apparently have a very hard time keeping my years straight, because I was trying to dredge up shit from 2007. I am completely lacking a concept of time. Anyway, rather than make you read ALL of my lame answers, here’s just a few:

Q: What did you do in 2009 that you’d never done before?

Oh, so many things! I burned my foot on a fire pit. I sprained my finger in a foreign country. I went camping on an island with no access to any supplies but the ones we brought with us (read: no beer). I puked out the side of a tent. It was a year for firsts.

Q: What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009?

Expendable income. A smaller appetite for chocolate and all things unhealthy.

Q: What date from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory, and why:

November 4th – when sweet baby Noah was born. December 15th – for reminding me that life is never satisfied unless it’s giving you the occasional kick in the balls. And December 16th – when my beautiful niece made her debut.

Q: What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Is it sad that I can’t think of anything I accomplished this year? Yikes. Too much partying, 2009. Oh wait. I read 100 books. Which is super nerdy and sort of lame to be my biggest achievement. But that’s what I got.

Q: What was your biggest failure?

Can my biggest failure be that I didn’t really accomplish anything of value this year? Because I think that’s a big enough failure. No?

Q: What was the best thing you bought?

I would say the Wii fit. But I’ve neglected it completely after using it for a week. It now serves as a hiding space for spiders, so clearly I don’t want to touch it anymore.

Q: Where did most of your money go?

Fireballs and porn.

Q: What did you get really, really, really excited about?

See above.

Q: Did you fall in love in 2009?

Only with babies. 

Aaaaand with that statement, I just made it on to To Catch a Predator’s watchlist.

Q: How many one-night stands?

I am way too committed and old to be having one-night stands. So only 5.

Q: What was the best book you read?

There’s really no way to answer that with one, but among my favorites were: The Help by Kathryn Stockett, Hunting and Gathering by Anna Gavalda, The Book Thief by Markus Zusak, and The God of Small Things by Ahrundati Roy. There were other 5-star books I read, but those are the ones that made the biggest impression.

Q: What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

I turned 26. We spent the weekend camped on a very windy island shooting warm tequila and wearing our sweatshirts up over our mouths and down over our eyes to keep out the sand. Twas awesome.

Q: Which celebrity/ public figure did you fancy the most?

I have an unhealthy adoration of Jason Segel.

Q: Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009:

I am far too old for all-nighters. While shooting darts, drinking, and sucking ass at guitar hero until 11 am the following morning SEEMS like a great idea, this is what my face looked like on New Year’s Day.

I swear I looked just like that.

I wouldn’t have minded 2009 staying around a while. We had fun.